an evening in the 'burbs

A new beginning of sorts

I've been inspired to do more of that picture taking thing, so I've deleted most of the nonsense that was in here, with a couple of exceptions. So I guess this will be more of a photo-blog of sorts.

pint of happiness

This indian summer
I'm out of my wits again
Always seems to go by so fast
Now it's hanging on far too long
I want to shake this one
Can't seem to shake this one
Can't seem to let it go

And the winter comes
It shuts me in
And I can't move
And I can't breathe
And I can't find myself lost in December again

It's the good and the bad
And it's all the in between
It's been locked aways, 11 months on
It's been set free to flutter down those times
So peaceful but I'd rather anything than December again
____________________________________
"See you soon"

The last words that I thought you meant
They were the last words you said to me
I sunk like a rock
Hook, line and lie
Like the veins that are flowing, you were streaming away... away.

navigation against the current

excuse the angst, I wrote this one night awhile ago when I couldn't sleep.
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You know how bad I am at expressing how I feel, but here I am, unable to sleep, so now it has to come out. If it's all a little jumbled, blame my current zombie-like state.
Sometimes I feel angry (fuck you), sometimes I feel sad (I miss you), and sometimes I'm ok (I'm over you). It all comes and goes, really.

It's been at least a month, I'm sure, since we last spoke. You had some days off and would make some time to talk, I suppose I've been lied to again.
But I still leave my computer on when I sleep just in hopes case you make your monthly arrival. So I can feel my heart rush like it always does.
So I can get my hopes up like I always do.
So I can come back down to earth like I always do in the end.
I still think about you everyday, about everything we've done, even though in your mind I'm probably long gone.
I understand, I'd forget about me too.
And you don't know about any of this, and most likely never will because I'll think about sending this but I doubt I could go through with it. Why open wounds and misunderstandings, these are just the thoughts that keep me up at night. Hey, maybe I'll drink too much again and get that fearless attitude I always get, from drinking to reminisce, and drinking to forget. Maybe it's better just to let you believe that everything is ok, no point in bringing you down into a pool of guilt.

There's a part of me that's over you.
There's a part of me that longs for you.
And there's a part of me that wishes you'd say goodbye.
Just wish I knew which part was real and not my imagination.

Whether you ever get to read this or not, the point still stands. Wherever we both end up, I wish you nothing but happiness and the great life you deserve, though I know you'd tell me differently. You always liked to disagree that way.
So make the most of what you've been given, and all that you've earned, whether I'm in the plans or not. We made promises, I know, but some promises were meant to be broken. No matter what comes next, just remember;
I'll love you, the girl I'll never know.

enough to be released